2023년 6월 12일 월요일

Introduction (new)

"Nature provides a free lunch, but only if we control our appetite." This sentence comes from a mind that wants to curb people's greed while still valuing nature and thinking more about the environment. However, during the third and fourth industrial revolutions, people failed to control their greed, and nature was destroyed. People are recklessly destroying the environment and focusing on economic development. Recently, the governments of many countries have joined forces to protect nature, and many organizations are working to revive nature, but it is still not enough. Therefore, the environment should be prioritized over economic development.

댓글 3개:

  1. "The forest was the first temple of God." This sentence comes from a desire to value nature and think more about the environment.
    ( Is this a famous quote? This is not really an inspiring quote. Also, it doesn't focus on the environment as being important, but that nature is. It's not relevant to your thesis.)

    Therefore, the environment should be prioritized over Economy
    (Your thesis should be "The environment should be prioritized over Economic development.")

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  2. but it's not easy. Humans can't live without nature.
    (Don't make personal, emotional appeals in the introduction. You're only introducing the thesis here.)

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  3. but isn't it a fact that humans can't live without nature?

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Short story - 20517 Jung Donghui FInal draft

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